Officially a Cosmopolitan..!

Cosmopolitan - Free from limitations, of all parts of the world. Thats what the dictionary says.

Cosmopolitan - The world famous Ladies drink made from 2 parts vodka + 1 part Cointreau part cranberry juice + a hint of dipped lime for flavor, served generally in a chilled Martini Glass.

Away from usual.

Away from routine.

Away from Thought.

Away from dream.

Away from Loss.

Away from regret.

I Tried to get...away from request.

A new place.A fresh aroma.

A natural change.A place as a part of this very world.

Carrying a stack full of pain,worry,contempt and regret,

I set out to find not peace but forget.

Whats in store not known to me.

What could be not done by me.

Whats right .

and whats wrong.

Whats required of me and my song.

Pressure tension Stress and force. Seem like physics but i've encountered in due course.

Blame I will , the Life i've lead.

Blame I will not the fact I could've bled.

Its all in your hand is what is said.

Its all in the head is what I dread.

To survive is needed only endurance and strength.

To live is needed more love and content.

Required to Survive.Reluctant to live.

I leave . I leave the first chance I get.

To Get hold of me.The me.. who was lost here in fret.

Blue sky.clear sky.Bright sunshine and a long cozy drive.

It was a sign of good. Good I hoped would sooner or later come.

Destination reached.

Distance covered.

I finally breathed a sigh of relief.

I was free! free at last . To "not" think.To "not" conclude.To "not" reason.

Impulse was such independence I could'nt handle at first.

Do whatever . Be whatever was the name of the game.

A complete 180 degrees phase shift.

This was bliss.Bliss well deserved.

Company matters .Whether its lovely doting bro or a shockingly surprising friend.

Possesion is what is security.Accepting it, maturity.

Need for speed.A way of letting go.

Need for flight.A way of staying pro.
Speed on the road.Very well maintained.

Flight in the head. Left to go insane.

Breezing away on a cold rainy night.

A Zen wizzing past a yellow man fine.

Stopped for question.Called for offence.

We pay and leave.subduing our defence.

Food they say is the reason we survive.

Drink I say is the reason we live.

Water or cosmo its upto u.

Drink it or dream it.The choice could make you blue.

Fa'h'itaz n pastas could'nt make up for the stuff.

The body sed yes.The head sensed bluff.

All in the all they manage to get in.

Running through the viens.

Washing away the pains.

Up above the world so high.

'13th floor' seemed like a mountain below the sky.

The city rushed home.The lights lit chrome.

Time flew by.As the angel passed by.
Mojito.Cosmo.Savel.Stood togeda.

Man to man.lifting us, brother.

Focus fucked up.Senses shook up.

Walk I did.

A little restrospectfully, that is.

No puke.No gibberish. It went down fine.

Came no confession.

Out was no crime.

but I still felt, like I was flying.

Was a trip to the world of NO Sense. Away from NON SENSE.

Tasted like freedom.

Wasted for no reason.

Change is wat ppl categorise it as.

Revelation I think will b my stand.

A need ? no.

A want ? yes.

A request ? no.

An order ? yes.

Blunt.Is the way things penetrate hard.

Explanation is needed not.

Now or ever.

Experience teaches you all.

Cant expect the unexpected can you?

why bother calculate and instrospect.?

Back to hell with a heavenly experience.

Back to the freaking chaos and issue.

But atleast I'm back sane enough to make out the difference.

One complete Revolution.

But,

Will say that,

It takes a whole round trip to realise the difference between Departure and Arrival.

........The End.........

It felt like a visit back from heaven..
It felt like a ray of light at the end of the tunnel..
It felt good.
It felt nice.
I met a certain sumone.
A sumone who showed me how the world looks from the other side..the side I'd never seen.
The side I might never see again..more than a friend and nothing more.
Life seemed perfect and as pure as snow.

Never thought I'd ever be happy.
Content and satified.
But sumhow it dint feel like effort.
Never felt like chance.
Its made me realise. how life is beautiful.
As beautiful as you dare to make it.
Importance.
Attention.
Care.
Concern.
Made me feel.. I belong.
Make a difference.
Have an importance.

Someone thought Im fine.
Someone thought I deserved.
Someone held my hand wen I refused to give it.
Someone helped me pull it through.
Someone somewhere finally cared.

Its over before it started.
Executed as scheduled.
Feelz empty but there was'nt supposed to be anything in there.
Feelz sad but was'nt meant to be.
Disappointed? yes.
Depressed ?no.
What life could'nt show me someone did.
Who was I? what was I ?
an insecure sensitive silhoutte in the dark.
Who am I now? what am I now?
A Shadow with a persona.
A glass half full.
A thought positive.
A game played.
what could'nt be done on my own I've been made to see and do.
I thank you life to show me this.
I thank you "luck" to bring me this.
Rightly enough when they say "All good things come to an end.." I'll safely add..." and all the best things never "end"..they just finish... believe me ... there is a difference."

I'm glad to be able to see it ..I'm glad to be able to feel it.

I'm just glad I was worthy.
'cz in the end..the end doesnt matter.

back to where i belong..

Nobody gets me.
Nobody wants me.
Nobody challenges me.
Nobody takes me.

People come.People go.
People help.people kno.
People try.people cry.
With or without me.The world would be the same.Its the thought of it tht kills.
Desperate to find.vunerable to touch.
shy to feel.scared to heal.

Life moves on.So does time.
Time.
All it gives is space.
All it takes is memory.
Memories good or memories bad.They stack up on me now.
Will hold on to it.Hold it forever.
Lucky to get it once.
Might not desrve again.
Might not recieve again..
Whats gone was beautiful.What'll come might be better.
But why be so optimistic.. Lets not take a chance and mark this.. not as the end of a story .. but as a start of a revelation.

Not a big deal all this.
Not worth the discussion all this.
Acceptance is definitely harder than preaching.
Absorbing is definitely harder than soaking.

Reality.It hits u.
Hard on ur heart.
Face it, I will.
Faced it, I have.
Its the transition ..taking a little time.
Hope kills.hope showz.
Hope carries away.
Hope frankly SUCKS!!

Why? B'cz it makes you think about something you might have a chance of having ..more than the chance.. of not having..

Change Sucks!

Change.
It takes you away.
Away from routine.
Away from where your comfertable.
Away into the night.
Away into the darkness of fright.

Change.
It does to you what no one can do.

Used to living in the shadows. Dragged to the spotlight.
Used to living under. Forced to Rise.
Used to taking humiliation. Reasoned to accept.
Used to Living not for liking but for surviving. Made to live to like and not survive.


Change.
voluntary or involuntary suprises more than pleases.
Darkness is good.It hides.
Hides the thought.Thoughts not known to people.
People who're supposed to know .Know what the darkness hides.
Shallow are the waters on which the mind treads.

Deep are the depths of revelation needed.
But what tops it all is the heart which understands none.Feels all.reasons none.
Talks to itself.Listens to none.


From Attach to detach.
From connect to disconnect.
From hurt to heal.
From hold to leave.
From come to go.
Its all just change.
Change of time.
Space.
Heart.
Mind.

I realise I hate change.Not becz it does me no good today.
Not because it seems like a crib.
Not b'coz it swells up inside.
But b'cz its No mans land.
Where I've never bin. And am still back from it.

At 15 mins to freedom...

I am, right now, sitting in the middle of a test which true to its name , is a surprise . Believe me when I tell you, I’m not just surprised but also at the same time shocked and horrified. I try looking for a good enough excuse to bail me out of this seemingly unavoidable situation.Try as hard as I may , I know that these are times my brain conveniently fails to function. As expected, nothing comes to mind even as the teacher cunningly threatens that is will be the basis on which we will be marked for "performance in class".

Then again... I cant say they've never warned us about such situations; but who would’ve thought it would hit us so early into the semester. Somehow, things like these , though meant to project spontaneity , aptitude and enthusiasm , do exactly the opposite. This ,comes from the fact that I have never , till date , met a person who came out of such a situation and said " That was awesome ! " or " what an experience. But yes , if u will at this particular juncture , accuse me of criticizing the situation just because I’m not able to do anything else about it , I will accept I’m guilty as charged. The excuse goes something like.. As far as the subject is concerned , I’m absolutely clueless ( knew I should’ve at least perfected the name of the chapters..) and if u ask me why I’m not trying my best to at least jot down something so I would "maybe" pass. Well I’ll just say.. That if I had even an ounce of knowledge regarding the subject, I wouldn’t have been here scribbling on these last few pages of the first book I found in my desk.

Ten minutes more to go and all I’ve done is managed to sneak a peek into my very intelligent ( yep I’ve bin bribed ...eh..cash will do..) partner's paper , who btw is herself facing an irritating experience of short term memory loss. And so unwillingly, after beautifying the not-so-imp personals details ( for the teacher's aid to induce torture as and when reqd.)..I’ve written (or copied) whatever little was legible of her ultra professional ( read incomprehensible) hand writing ... which seems more like that of a doctor’s than of an engineer’s. But sadly even that is not enough to fool the teacher to make believe that this almost empty sheet is not because I don’t know anything ..but because maybe I cant "think" of anything I know…which he wants…

Freakin out before duin sumthin i'v alwys wantd to do..

Well, for starters.. this post was actually my entry for gettin thru to the Editorial team of my college... The problem here was .. we were asked to write sumthin startin from "I am.." ..after helpin my pals.. figure out their entries.. i finally sit down with my own.. n THIS is wat came out ...


I am.. at the moment, horrified of the fact that this is the chance destiny has brought upon me ,which I think I might just lose .. Because when I was told to write 600 words on anything I wanted to, I initially thought it wouldn’t be that hard. But now that I sit to actually pen it down, I can think of absolutely nothing. Reason being, all my life (of what’s gone)...I’ve waited for the right chance, the right opportunity, to prove, not to anyone else but me that I can do something other than merely trying to pass through college but now that I have the chance ,I have absolutely nothing that is striking me. So I’m going to put down whatever is going on in my teeny tiny brain , and right now what’s striking me is ..Well... "Still nothing...”.
Frankly speaking, I was expecting I’d have to write a review or maybe give an opinion, but clearly this is not what is expected of me right now. I have realized from this very experience, that thinking when your told to, is excruciatingly traumatic, because that’s the time when my brain tells me.. "What are you looking here for...U've never let anything stay here long enough to be used again..! Ha ha ha “.. So basically what your told to do, you never want to do, even if you wanted to do it initially, but the fact that now your “ABLE“ to do it , and now don’t WANT to makes you pull your hair out. You might, at this particular juncture, be thinking.. What a humongous piece of written crap this is! But dear reader, I will still maintain, this is exactly what’s going on in my head at this point of time.
On a serious note, maybe I should write something on ‘Technology’, as that’s my field.. or something to do with ideals like ‘Unity’? ‘Teamwork ’? ‘ Ethics’? Or does ‘Communication skills’ do the trick? If not these, then my brain (still smirking at me… ) tells me that it would be appropriate if I wrote something about my own life, my experiences, my ups and downs (of course, the latter outnumbering the former).. Or maybe something do with my friends, my college, my ‘present’, in general. But I wonder how something ‘I’ve’ gone through (amazing that it has been..) could interest "YOU" .. Still keeping in mind, that I want you to read further... I’ll just go on, by pressurizing my brain to come up with something I really want to convey... something which would bring out, not the literary me, but at least convey the fact that I ‘CAN’ write.. (Don’t let this content make you think otherwise...). Now I think you must’ve reached the point of absolute frustration, because I’m sure you’re looking for ‘THE’ topic I’m going to write on incoherently, like I’ve known it all along, and am just dying to put across... trust me, you will find it.. It is here somewhere in my head, if it would just come forth..
Now that I think of it, I should’ve never projected the fact that I m actually confused as to what exactly is asked of me, because as they say, ”Confusion projects Instability”... But then, now it’s all done. Drafted and made indelible. To rectify it and make it seem all prim n proper would be cheating you, and to go on, would practically be asking you of a favor. So I think I’ll just end this bit by making my closing statement the same as my opening one, because even now.. I am horrified, but not of the fact that I might lose “the” opportunity, but of the fact.. That I might Already Have!


Well, believe it or not.. I Have Got selected into the Editorial Team... Strange as it seems to me.. i still cant figure out..how my " nothing " got me to be "something"..